Okay, I’ll admit I was a bit of a hoodrat back in and after high school. A bit of a punk, if you will. A rebel, perhaps.
In my group of friends NO ONE was 21, so we all couldn’t wait to turn 21. Why ? So we could go into the liquor store ourselves ? Oh so cool.
I had my whole 21st birthday planned out. It was my golden birthday, too, so it was going to extra special. We were going to go to the bars, party our faces off, it was going to be killer. Mind you, I was 18-19 when this planning was happening.
Then, a blue little plus sign threw a wrench in that plan.
I spent my 20th birthday pregnant as hell. But, I was with my family and we had a really fun time. Did I party with my friends ? Nope, and you know what; I didn’t die. I was totally okay. No FOMO here.
Fast forward to August 2015.
I was telling my parents how I wanted them to watch Nola on the weekend of my 21st birthday (it was on a Monday. Shitty, right ?). They said they would ! The excitement.
Fast forward even further to January 2016.
Nola is completely depend on me to get her to sleep, to feed her (since she nurses to sleep), and to soothe her if she wakes up at night.
And I was so totally okay with that. My little bean was so infinately more important than going out, that I didn’t care one bit that I wasn’t going to go out.
My best friend and her family took me out to dinner on the day of my 21st. Did I have anything to drink ? Nope, and I still had so much fun.
I didn’t need to get shit faced and I didn’t even want to. Not one little bit.
The following Saturday, I went to dinner with my family. I ordered a drink-maybe two. It was a lovely time. I wasn’t upset that I wasn’t partying at the bar. I wasn’t bummed that I couldn’t go out because of the baby.
It amazed me how much my mentality changed when Nola came along. I use to think you needed alcohol to have fun, and it can help perpetuate the fun, but it’s not necessary.
Becoming a mother really put life into perspective for me. I didn’t have a drink on my 21st birthday, I didn’t have one until almost a week later. Some people would say that’s dumb, why wouldn’t I now that I could ?
Well, dumb dumb, I have a baby to take care of. Will one or two drinks interfere with my ability to care for her ? No, but anything more than that and I can’t feed her. Anything more than that and it wouldn’t be responsible for me to hold her, or pick her up. And that’s not really appealing to me.
Now, when she’s older and doesn’t rely on me to nurse her and get her to sleep, that might be a different story. Maybe I’ll go out a couple times a month for a few hours. But, getting shit faced no longer holds any appeal.
This isn’t to say that parents with young babies who go out and drink are terrible parents, bad parents, irresponsible, neglectful, NOTHING LIKE THAT. So don’t get it twisted. This is just my train of thought on the matter in regards to me, my baby, and my personal situation. I don’t care what other people do, not my business.
So, was turning 21 a life changing event ? No, and it wasn’t worth all the hype. It was nice to celebrate another birthday with my family, and it’ll be nice to order wine when I go out in the future. But, that’s about it.